I knew when I awoke that the courts were opened. There is a flavor of holiness that I only associate with there.
As I sat at the table to pray, in the spirit I was ushered into a court room and seated at a table on the right side. It was whispered to me that I would know what to say when the moment opened. The court was already in session.
The Lord began to speak to me there at my table.
He said if my heart is properly aligned with love I can present any case.
He said if my heart is to present his case, my bias will not interfere with his presentation.
Somehow I know this is linked to what I have been learning is partaking the fellowship of his sufferings.
Sometimes when suffering comes we are being invited to share a small portion of what the Lord endured while he was here on the earth as Son of man.
I was in a session with a survivor recently.
She knows something is coming that is hard.
Immediately I saw Jesus in the garden, saying to his dad, if there is any other way, take this cup from me. I knew she was being invited to share his moment, the way we invite him to share ours.
Recently I was with a friend who is incredibly frustrated with the church. What I saw in the spirit is that the Lord was inviting him into feeling his hunger when he looked over Jerusalem and said, how I have longed to gather you as a mother hen gathers her chicks. The frustration my friend felt came from not being able to step into the longing with absolute faith in Father. Without the faith that Jesus had, that longing resulted in great frustration.
So in this case I was being told to present the Lord’s case. I was instructed to bring the truth of how each opportunity in each point of suffering had been rejected. Bitterness had been chosen, the hardship of the soul had been counted as more important than the healing of the cross.
Oh, the horror.
I realized I was presenting a case that would leave the individual under scrutiny with no defense.
I turned from it.
I looked at the Lord and said, God, please don’t ever have me do this to anybody I love!
He said, ever so gently, don’t you believe that I love them, Tanya?
He told me that my grounding has to be in his perfection. The place for my emotions to anchor is that he does all things well.
He brought to mind Revelation 19, where the bride, seeing the smoke that ascends forever from Babylon, cries holy and true are your judgments, oh God.
I am undone.
So I presented his case, before the courts. I offered the evidence that love that had been rejected. I was trembling with the weight of it. And I was very very very grateful, that I am not ever the one who has to judge.
And the one who does judge is himself mercy, and he has triumphed over judgment for whosoever will choose love.
My heart is heavy for the lost today.
Save them oh God, and they will be saved.
Remember oh Lord how you saved me…I was far worse!
The cloud opens and my cry joins with the groans of heaven.
Surely this knowledge is too big for me.
May I be found leaning. I am nothing on my own.