It was not that there wasn’t enough faith.
The faith was there.
It wasn’t that there were inner healing blocks he had not unearthed.
It wasn’t that enough scriptures were not read, or read.
It wasn’t for lack of listening or desire.
But it didn’t look like martyrdom to us. It didn’t look like the prophecy Art Katz had made.
And we contended every day, continuously, some for 15 years.
We are left not knowing, or perhaps knowing a portion, through a glass darkly.
And he is gone. Everyone who knew him will miss him, and he was known by many. And the question is, why?
Some things have formed inside me, over the past few days.
A new knowing of the cloud.
A new perspective of variation and stability.
And I believe my friend has had the opportunity to observe some things and have long time, life time questions answered.
I have a partial answer on why he is gone.
I think the two scenarios were played out for him.
I think he got to see how it would impact all of those he loved if he received healing.
Everyone, mature, immature, believers, non believers alike.
And then I think the Lord showed him the impact it would have on everyone if he went home.
Jon was a family man.
Especially in those last years, when he was with you, he was fully present with you.
And when he saw the two scenarios, he picked the one that would allow more people to love and be perfected by God.
It was a hard choice.
It will be awhile for some of us to feel the rightness, in our loss.
I am glad he gets to move again, without pain.
I am thankful for the insights he gave to me freely.
But in the end, the greatest love is the love that causes a man to lay down his life for his friends.
And his choice allowed that.
Jon was a martyr after all.
Selah

I miss you.
I miss you too..
Your bride hurt me.
She hurts me too, sometimes.
She dishonored me. She used me. She took what she could get out of me and she never saw me, except as one who should be her fan.
She is immature, yet. I love her. My heart aches at the pain. Yet hope beats within me still.
I want to be with you again. I long to have the moments of oneness. I miss your smile. Your laugh. Your attention. I miss those times when our connection transcends the here and now, and becomes eternal. I love you.
It hurts that you did not seem to take my side when she hurt me. It makes me upset with you. I want you with me, but I want you to be there for me more, and I want you to stick up for me and I want you to….
I cannot do all that you want- it would not be good for you if I did. I can be with you in a way you recognize sometimes. I am with you in many ways you do not recognize. I groan for what those moments between us do to me. In return for you allowing me to come like that sometimes, I can love you with a covenant love.
You know how to come to me like that. I don’t know how to come to you like that. So it feels like you are asking me for you to come when you want but what about when I want? What about when I need?
I can promise that if you yield your demands and allow me to do what I think is right, we will both be satisfied. If you demand what I cannot give (out of love) then you will become bitter and I will be left in my longing. The choice is yours. It always has been yours, and I will never take it from you. But the choice is about a different issue than what you have made it. The choice is all about love. I love you. I have loved you with an everlasting love. I know your needs better than you do. Will you trust me in this?
You have always been faithful. I will trust you while I don’t understand. I wish it didn’t hurt anymore.
I died so I could take that from you. And reconcile you back to Love. I will wait until you are ready, and not a moment longer. I am undone with love for you!