I long for people to be healed. Sometimes it is my failing, in that I want to help some even when they do not desire it.
I believe that healing exists so that men might know God better. In his presence stuff gets addressed. People receive love. People become free to love.
The cross is enough to heal all wounds.
But sometimes I misunderstand the role I am to play.
And I offer tools that are not received.
I try not to take it personally.
It doesn’t have to be the way God healed me.
As long as I perceive healing is being sought. Some way. If you want to be close to him, then you get things out of the way that interfere…right?
And yet.
Peter.
Peter spent three years with Jesus. Living with him. Eating with him. Drinking with him. Hurting with him. Healing with him.
And this morning as I am on my way to work out, God addresses me.
And he says.
What about Peter?
I recall what I know.
His betrayal, the return to fishing, him asking about John. And that part that has always stuck with me. Verse 18 of John 21. 18 Yes, indeed! I tell you, when you were younger, you put on your clothes and went where you wanted. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.”
And the Lord asked, was he perfected during the time we were physically together? Was it through the eating, the healing, the miracles?
Did the time he spent with me heal him so that he did not betray me for his life?

Was his heart free when he wondered about the future of another so that he might compare it to his own?

And I am seeing, no, the time with Jesus did not accomplish that in Peter’s heart.
It was not as simple as being in the presence of Jesus.

Sometimes it is the hard things that do not conform to our wants, wishes and desires that perfect us.
Sometimes it is the things we ask for that he says no to that help us seek to understand a love higher than our own, an affection that is larger than our limited sight.
Sometimes, in the suffering, the obedience of saying, not my will, but yours, when everything in us cries out for him to fix stuff according to our paradigm, is what prepares us for a destiny that is larger than our comprehension.

I think of how it is not enough to love those who love me. And I know it is also not enough if things go the way I want them to.
I think of the Bride in Revelations 19….looking at the smoke that ascends from that city forever. Did she have family members there? Yet she looks at him, who is the cause of that smoke. And she says True and Righteous are your ways Oh Lord.

In his suffering he learned obedience. Not because God is mean, and wants to rule like a dictator. But rather because God is love, and being in alignment with love yields the highest receipt and return of love.

Would Peter be who he is right now, if he had not had that prophecy fulfilled. 18 Yes, indeed! I tell you, when you were younger, you put on your clothes and went where you wanted. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.”

Did it look like Peter was being healed when he said, I do not know him? Could anyone perceive that Peter was undergoing internal transformation that was preparing him for eternal destiny when he was being dressed and carried to where he did not want to go?

Yet Peter was perfected by his end.
Sometimes it is just being able to connect with him that takes us through the next level of understanding and growth. And sometimes it is walking through the hardest places of life, where his voice is not always clear, that is required.

This empowers me to bless without needing to fix.
This allows me to look for Fathers hand in things that do not fit my definition of good.
This allows me to grow beyond the finite comprehension of my mind.
And this is what allows me to hope, and believe the promises before they appear.

It is only through partaking in the fellowship of his sufferings that part of knowing him happens. Knowing him. It is worth it.
Hard. And true.

It is hard to find adequate language for life these days.
How to convey the depth of these experiences.
I seem to be on a fast track of learning.
I work with a eleven people. Ten of them have these.
Me too.
Getting my own healing while helping others find theirs is a roller coaster!
At any given moment I find myself in the grips of contending through various and sundry emotion.
Grief. Sorrow. Anger. Determination. Awe. Lots of awe. Surprise. Shame. Compassion.

So, what are these?
These are human spirits that started out like you or me. Created by God. matched to a body and soul. Given time and a life. And free will.
But something happened. Something went terribly wrong.
Life in the body was lost.
And for some reason or another, they got stuck.
Some in the land. Some in people.
Stuck from entering eternity.
Stuck here with no bodily form.
And they do their best to find a way to continue that doesn’t leave them hopeless.
They exercise their will from within the space they now occupy. Only. It isn’t right. It doesn’t work. And its unclean.
They need to go.
Through what is called an eviction process.
Some are easier than others.
It is not about legal ground. They have none.
It is about a power encounter. God says go. They need to go.
Wild.
It gets wilder.

In Scripture when Jesus set people free, he rebuked and cast out a lot of stuff. It is interesting to note that the word demon is used, the word evil spirit is used, and the word unclean spirit is used, in different places.

So now there are tools to remove them. Rather, the tools were always there, but now we have rediscovered them.
The same way Egypt had to let God’s people go, these spirits need to let go. God provides help, when needed.

After the initial creepiness passes when contemplating a bodiless spirit of another human occupying me, the work itself is relatively simple.
It is just that every case is different so we need to lean on Jesus for each one.

Exciting, wild, sometimes crazy, and always interesting. Life in God.
selah

There are days when the weight and witness comes to rest upon me.
It feels like the cloud of witnesses has opened again.
How long…cries can be heard.
The weight and direction shifts as newbies enter with what they have left- the legitimate heart of God and the direction their life represents.
It is not like a tug of war. because everyone knows that when they all come together they move in God’s direction, and that is the greatest prize of all.
Groans. Supplications. reminders. Both to Father and to us.
The moment when I knew there was extra strength to do things. The moment that I knew the affirmation outweighed every negativity.
One foot in.
Out again.
The cloud.
The hunger grows as the numbers do.
Soon their weight will outweigh ours.
Then, their thrust will be unstoppable, as kingdom comes, on earth as it is in heaven.
I wonder how the work with AHS affects this.
My sense today is of a great joy.
The cloud knows joy when things come into alignment with God.
Closer.

Hebrews 12:1 CJB
Complete Jewish Bible
So then, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us, too, put aside every impediment – that is, the sin which easily hampers our forward movement – and keep running with endurance in the contest set before us….
selah

This was a shared spirit. Her and her daughter. Her family was into all things new age, and all spirits/deities were welcomed. Her mom was borderline. Her dad was absent.

I have just begun doing this stuff. I do not have full understanding but Wonderful Counselor does. I am not even free myself. I have gotten rid of some but not all. And all of my childhood, the punishment I saw, over and over, to defy or not submit, was death. I think sometimes they bought kids to die so we could be trained. We, being the ones that stayed alive. And somehow, I am prompted, this is a part of the justice of God on the earth. For me to rise into the authority he bought and paid for, a long time ago. I ponder his ways.

So these shared human spirits were anti Christ. Not all that I find are in rebellion. Some are confused. Lost. Without instruction. Trying to avoid shame or punishment. Thinking that what they accomplished was not enough. Those are relatively easy to help. I honor them. recognize them. Affirm them, and remind them about who God is. And he sends angels, escorts. Opens the silver channel. They go home.

Not so with the anti Christ ones. They are in agreement with Sheol. They kick and scream. They threaten and harass. They hate God. And his children. They belong in eternity reaping what they have chosen. But they make a deal to come back, temporarily. Most of them have no regret. They hiss and snarl. And usually, the person reports what is going on as this happens internally. But these, they wanted to talk. To me, through her. They wanted to tell me how much they enjoy what they do. And I am face to face with the conflict of childhood, evil doers that are not in the right but that have power.

It was good for me. Going through the power encounter. Seeing them sent, with enforcer angels, to where the Lord wanted them to go. And it was hard for me, being face to face with the hatred of darkness again. Only this time with authority behind me.

God wins.
Today she is free, and reporting an overriding peace she has not known before. Her faith in God has shifted, and her faith in darkness has decreased. I rejoice. Truly that is the journey we all are on. Coming into perfect alignment, and agreement with the superior covenant of Love.

I am undone by the grace of God in my life, to allow me to be on the earth at this time and to participate in these holy battles. Surely he does all things well. Just look at my life.