Yesterday, I looked at the hardest thing I have ever faced. In the greatest detail. With full emotional connection throughout.

I saw him as he chose to put every heart he was dying for, on the altar at the top of God’s mountain. I could not have doe it without being connected to God and being plugged into my timeline.

The way he came yesterday for me was unusual.
I thought I would write about that today.

I had been listening to a song by Will Regan and United Pursuit. I lean not on my own understanding…my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven. And then it changes into- I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open – I know that I can trust you.

When I began to connect with him in the time set aside for healing yesterday, he came as God. He came as a mountain. I was on his/its side. It was steep. And I was asked to just focus on the next step and to let my hands remain open.

He was in the mountain. He was the mountain. He touched me through it.

At one point I saw Jesus, off to the side. He was on the cross. And I saw a new component. In addition to taking on all sin, rebellion, iniquity, curses and covenants, in addition to taking all trauma, all disease, all infirmity, all sickness, in addition to the identificational thing he did there for each one of us, he also sacrificed.

He looked at every heart that he was dying for. He saw them, knew them, loved them. And he offered them up, as a sacrifice, to his father, on the top of the mountain, so that they would retain their free will. Through his suffering, he learned obedience. This was a part of that, I think. Loving so much that I would die for someone, yet still being willing to not demand any love or loyalty in return. Suffering in the truth that some will go their own way and find a destruction they were never intended for, and choose it, time after time after time, until choice is yielded to the substance of decision.

At one point, during my climb yesterday, I was asked to make my own sacrifice. The hearts that are dear to me, would I be willing, to identify with Abraham, to identify with Jesus, in my small way, and yield my rights to the role that I had perceived was mine as a christian? Would I be willing to stop interceding out of fear that if I stopped they would go astray? The indirect strength that came from Jesus as he made his sacrifice came to me through the mountain of God and aided me.

And if obedience is defined as alignment, it is greater in me today. And if suffering means choosing that which is right no matter how hard, I have suffered. I feel changed today. And I have much to ponder. I cling to the truth that he makes everything beautiful in its time. The fulness has not yet come.