This week in my blessings I have been so struck by God as El Roi, God who sees.
This has taken me into the life of Hagar.
She was brought into Abraham’s household, told she would be used to get the heir to the household, then was despised an eventually sent away. In all of that God did not reveal himself to her. Only in the place where she had intolerable conflict did he come. But he saw. He saw it all, so when he came, she could rest in knowing there was saw one who saw it all.
Today Father led me into the text.
I saw.
I saw what was in her heart when she conceived.
Suddenly she looked at Sarah as if Sarah was lesser than her.
Not because of something she had worked hard to develop.
Not a skill she had honed that caused her to shine superior.
But a conception.
Something that is God’s handiwork, not hers.
And because her undercurrents caused Sarah to deal harshly to her, she ran.
And that was where she met the Lord. His counsel for her to return and submit was mercy based.
He knew what was in her heart, how she would idolize her ability to conceive. He allowed it to be exposed so that he could right the order he had assigned her to. She was to birth a nation.

I see the times my own heart has looked at leaders and thought I was wiser than them. I see the places where I view what God has birthed in me as superior. I look at others on their journey and realize I am farther along and attribute it to me instead of to God. Lord, have mercy.

It is good for you to expose the places in my heart where I take credit. When it is not my credit but your glory.
Surely all that I have comes from your hand. Surely my healing is your divine work.
The glory is yours.

And I want to ask you today, reader, have you been taking credit for the things that God has done? Have you perceived that your conception was a value reflection on God’s part?

Humbly, I have repented today. There is no good in me apart from God. My breath comes from him and is for him. Any glory that comes belongs to him.

God who sees, see me. Create in me a clean heart. See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Not my work, but yours.

Amen.