I had been reading Numbers 19. I still have two windows open around me. One is of me at 14 with the biker on the property passing by the pile of white, sun leached bones. The other is also 14, at the shore of the water near the woods, before the pregnant woman who clung to the rock died. I am not sure why they are open as unmoving pictures. God has not left me nor is he displeased, so I assume he will move them into movies when the time is perfect, or nudge me if there is something I am supposed to do.

To my left, in the air slightly higher than my head, the red heifer appeared yesterday. I was in a local church. Worship was going on. And here is the heifer.

I know Jesus, as my my high priest, became the sacrifice once and for all. I also know that sometimes the Lord uses the old to teach me the new. Nothing is too far fetched for him. If he knows I need to see a heifer sacrifice for me to believe I am clean from touching the dead, he will totally do that and then lead me to the cross to need only him. He always surprises me. So when I see this heifer I start dialoging with the Lord. Is this for my unclean? No resonance. Is this a symbol I need to pray for this community I am worshiping with? Do they need priestly intercession for being unclean? No resonance. It occurred to me that the heifer was alive. And suddenly I knew. The heifer had been one that was sacrificed for the unclean. In the fire, the cedar, hyssop and scarlet had combined, and its action of dying, without free will, transformed it. This heifer now stood in heaven remembering with great accuracy what it feels like to be the lamb who was slain. The testimony of Jesus was stamped upon it. It will always serve to remind.

I pondered the depth of that. Each of us that are saved surely carry his imprint in some way. It is not what we understand that matters when we get there, but the imprint of Him that we carry- that matters.

And the worship paused, and communion began. And there was Jesus above me near the speaker, speaking. The prayer to remember his suffering and death made him sigh. So much of communion is seen through the eyes of the law and what was legally done, he said. But as the heifer is alive and now carries my stamp in heaven, so too, do you. So much of sacrifice is seen through the eyes of the law, and what was done. See higher, he urged me. See eternity. See what CAN be. See what was done, yes, and do not forget. But see, also what can and should occur, because I LIVE! Because I am alive in you, all that was available to me through my Father I now give to you. Communion is about continuing in that vein.

I call you as a priest from a family of priests, to pray this way for the people. To pray this way for my bride.

I am sidetracked for a minute. Doesn’t this negate you being once and forever high priest?

Only at the points and times when you are not in alignment, he replied. The law meets the need until the grace comes to supersede the law. It has always been so.

And I see, suddenly, more than the red heifer. A new understanding is birthed within me that lacks verbal expression, yet, I know I am not the same as I was before he came.

May it ever be so, Lord. Grant me your grace, and your eyes to see. selah.