Father Andrew Miller believes that in our brain, the way we interpret our experiences on the right side of our brain gets stored in our left brain as belief. What we believe, rules us.

An example of how this might result in error is illustrated by a recent email I received. I had reached out to this person to gently inquire how they were doing. I shared a little bit of my own life in the email as well, to invite deepening relationship.

What came back to me was brusque. It felt as though the person had no time for emotional bonding. They were straight, sharp, and to the point. Information wise, it was adequate. But there was no life of the heart involved or offered.

If I based my opinion of this person on how I felt reading that email, it would be easy to ‘write this person off’, because of the absence of attunement. To me it was a condescending attitude that underlined those responses. It did not feel like an equal desire to engage in the friendship I offered. If I do not examine those nuances in my heart, decisions involving future correspondence will be influenced. I’ll experience an unexplained aversion or distaste when I think of that person.

Whenever I have bonded with someone, but when I think of their face I cannot picture being happy to see them, my brain is triggered. If I have a history of not feeling seen, or not having people attune to me, I can even assign that historical pain to this current email and believe that it is all about this person causing me distress.

If I interpret the experience with that email in that way, I’ll begin to believe things about that person that may not be true.

“they don’t have time for me”, they are just pretending to like me previously”, “they are not who I thought they were” would all be examples of how that erroneous interpretation would build beliefs that are not truth.

One of the things that helps interrupt these formations is I connect with the Lord in a divine encounter. I ask him to show me his heart for this person. That softens my beliefs and gives me the opportunity to trade or exchange my faulty perceptions for the love that comes from above.

I Corinthians : 13 ⁴ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;^[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ⁸ Love never ends. 

It is easier to live life from this place of peace. Selah.