The absence of love is something that is very difficult to comprehend while we remain here. While we do not always recognize it, love makes up a portion of the very fabric of all people, places, things. It is the glue that produces hope.

Imagine feeling pain beyond bear without ever having someone who shows a modicum of kindness to help you get past it. 

Imagine a hole that you cannot get yourself out of. No one is there to even pretend that they care. 

If there are no more tears and no more pain or weeping in heaven, there is just as surely no end to them in hell. But imagine no one caring about your plight, your pain. In fact the only emotion that continually grows is hate, hatred that seeks more pain and more tears from you and is never appeased. 

There is no such a thing as an act of kindness there. Wicked enjoyment exists instead. The satisfaction that motivated all the efforts to separate you from your creator worked yet there is no satisfaction. There is no peace. No filling. No rest. All that remains is an external hunger that feasts on torment. Yours, if you are there. 

Never again will someone change your diaper because it is dirty. Never again will someone will give you medicine or take you to the doctor because you are ill. You will not again see someone‟s eyes light with enjoyment when they see you. Your phone will not ring. No more messages will be left for you. Never again will someone cook a meal for you. A kind word spoken by a server in a restaurant will seem like a bar of gold in your past. You will not enjoy another meal. The pleasures your tongue experienced will also be past. Those things you chose to fulfill yourself with while on earth count against any additional fulfillment there- you chose your reward already. The beauty of a sunrise will fade forever. Freedom from fear is a thing of the past. Fear will now be your constant companion, as long as your understanding of companionship remains. You have chosen this. It was your choice. The day of mercy for change is past. There is only the mercy ahead that will allow deterioration to erode what remains. By ignoring the benevolent omniscience of God you have picked your course. You say yes to someone- who will you choose? 

Different levels here.

You have assigned to yourself the unredeemable fear that removes you from love voluntarily. 

Never again will your heart be warmed by delight or enjoyment or rest.  Can you imagine the utter absence of everything that resembles or speaks of the goodness of God? You will realize that everything here that spoke of the Lord spoke of his love. The enemy sought your worship so he could find easement in the destruction of who you were. It is his modus operandi- anger hate and lies. He has not love. He spurned the love of his creator, and instead chose a void that he thought he would fill with his own goodness- alas- he had no goodness apart for God with which to fill it. 

Negative, without balance. Destiny is gone, already eaten up. Understanding brings more pain. A continued unfolding of realization is all that remains- the fullness of the decision must be realized. Death was chosen over life. No more roads towards light. The pretense of light has fled. Darkness consumes the territory. There are flickers of pretend light to increase the torture but that is all. 

No grace. Imperfection is all that remains, and perfection is past tense. It is as though you have chosen to be a slave of one who holds you in utter contempt. Your frailty is weakness to him, your best is disgusting. He gave you an illusion before that you could please him. That illusion is gone. Affirmation no longer exists. You may have experienced a portion of this if you have suffered under the oppression of the evil one while you were here. There- it never ends.