Sometimes, we get a model, that provokes a desire is us.

Last year I had the privilege of watching someone transition from this life into eternity.

She was an incredible general in God’s army. She had firepower when she spoke. Stuff broke. She would ask the Lord for more in a room, and Holy Spirit came in power. She demonstrated God’s victory wherever she went. She was a bulldog in the spirit. If God told her to do something it got done. She persevered past emotion and intellect. Her will was more commonly in alignment with God than not. It was all balanced by authenticity. She stayed real and moved in deep compassion as a testimony of her intimacy. She could gentle herself in a moment to engage in Father’s heart. She could find peace in the imponderables. She was comfortable with silence. God was God, and she did not try to usurp that.

When the illness hit, she fought. She fought hard. I could hear her dialogue with God. “I will not give in to the enemy’s plan! I will not receive what does not come from Your hand!” He was silent. The words changed. “There are so many people who do not yet know you! They have not tasted who you are! Without your fire they are dying in churches across the world!  Without your mercy their hearts are becoming like stone! There are places that need this fire you have given me! There are groups who have called upon me to release what you have given. I am not done! I will not give up!” I could feel his presence towards her. He moved when she cried out. Yet he did not speak. “Remember the promises, God!” was the next exchange between them. “Remember those you have promised, and remember those promises that are yet unfulfilled in my life! You are good, and you do not lie! I know who you are and I will contend past this because I know You!”

Hours passed. The words continued. Each time she touched a different aspect of Him that she knew. She was looking for the words that would align her with him in that moment and produce a release of heaven’s perfection here on earth.

He did not reply. I knew his eyes were on her. I could feel His heart moving, every word she uttered caused a response in his heart. He breathed her name.

There was a shift.

I felt a sigh. It was like a collective sigh. It is what precedes certain change in heaven, I think.

I saw her garment.

It was the most beautiful blue I have ever seen. It was adorned with diadems. It captured light, reflected light, it was light. It was alive and had pulse. I knew it was her calling, her destiny. She wore it as a bride wears her gown. She knew who she was and whom she served. And she let the excellence of His gifts and call on her life be released. She knew the beauty, and it showed in her garment.

To wear this, one had to walk into the space where the garment was and it became them.

As I watched she took two steps back. This action efficiently removed her from her garment. She looked at it with affection. She would fight to the death for its ownership if he told her to. And yet…

She paused. Her whole being focused on him. Her next words took the verbally one sided (but spiritually two sided) conversation to a new level.

“ I’ll leave it, for you, if you want me to. This is not who I am. This is what you have called me to. This is your plan for my life. I love doing these things.  But this is not who I am. This is not my essence. I am your daughter. That is more important to me than anything. I’ll give this up if you want me to.”

She stood there, without her garment. She stood before him.

And he showed her himself.

Some time passed.  I heard her again. She had begun the change, her voice reflected the difference. She was less earth-focused.  “He is so beautiful! Can you see how lovely he is? I knew, but I didn’t know. I saw, but I didn’t see. He’s so beautiful” I could feel warmth in her joy.

In the natural this experience looked a little different. She became ill. It was violent. She fought for a time. And according to the medical community it was a fight she lost.

She lived well. She died better. Perhaps I needed that model, for my own life’s journey. I will never forget it.  “I had not believed to look on the goodness of Jehovah In the land of the living!” (Psalm 27:13)

Seeing her transition into death showed me more about the goodness of the Lord, while I am still in the land of the living. Surely he works all things together for good.