Some days, I evaluate myself for the sake of refocusing my intentionality. I want to live this life. I don’t want to be reacting my way through it, at the mercy of every emotion and thought.

I do a facebook test. Did I keep track of time while I was scrolling, or was I surprised by how much time I lost? Was I looking at my feed for relational connecting, or was I looking for information? Did I stay connected to Jesus? Did I invite him to chat with me about what I saw, and what formed in me (opinions, judgments, etc.) Did I intentionally look someone up? Were my reasons for doing so clean?

Did I share with others as much as I received from their shares? What did I like and why?

How do my eyegates feel, relative to where they were when I started?

How does my heart feel? What thoughts come after my time? Are they more important or less important?

Am I less intentional and feeling less hope? Am I doing any comparisons? Did I get information that I would not feel comfortable getting in actual conversation with that person?

This can be done for any form of social media. Some seasons I do it once a week. others, once a month.

It’s a gift we have, to self examine. It’s never to condemn or punish.

It is reminding me of my ownership and free will in this life. I get to choose life. I get to choose this reality. I get to choose what I focus on. I get to intentionally plot a path that will lead me more into the Lord, five years from now. And sometimes, this is a great defense against the little foxes that try to devour fruit in the garden of my heart. And often, it chokes out the weeds, the cares of this world, that try to steal life that Jesus has planted.

Selah.

Several months ago, I was on a road trip. I was driving on one of my favorite roads. I was passing a cemetery that is familiar to me. Father has asked me to stop there, over the years, for various pieces of cleansing it needed. On this road trip, there was no prompt to stop. But what I heard the Lord say was- Ask for the promises written on those bones to be resurrected and to have new life.

Hmm. I asked, without understanding. And to further the mystery he said- Isaiah 14:2 is written on the bone of your forearm.

I could not even pretend to understand this mystery. It took me two days to look it up.

Isa 14: [2] And the people shall take them, and bring them to their place: and the house of Israel shall possess them in the land of the LORD for servants and handmaids: and they shall take them captives, whose captives they were; and they shall rule over their oppressors.

What? I don’t want to rule my oppressors. I didn’t understand. but the Lord is truth.

Last week, in the Spirit, I saw one of the perpetrators of my youth. She was talking to Sheol. She was asking what was next, since her body is aged now. I heard the promise of Sheol, that she would be able to come back without a body, when her body had finished. That she would have great assignments and be unencumbered. I knew she would be an earthbound spirit, assigned to keep people from callings and destinies. I was horrified.

The Lord asked me if I was ok with that. I was vehement in my negative response. He asked if I would like to put a marker on the exit of time/entrance into eternity that was her portion. The marker would guarantee she could not re-enter. I did. The marker was placed.

And he said- this is Isaiah 14:2. Your authority will rule over her exit.

I was undone.

My perpetrator knew, of course. She tried to haunt in a dream. But I lucid dream now, and that too was ruling over my oppressor.

And today, praying for Israel, I am asking the same passage with a different application. That Israel would rule over her oppressors.

Surely he makes everything beautiful in its time.