When in my immaturity I come and say- it wasn’t supposed to be like this. My healing was so hard God but I did it expecting my kids to not have to go to that degree of hard. If I had not pursued healing- whould it just look the same?

Then he comes and says-Do you think I was not aware of the widows when Paul came and changed their world? Then he comes and says-do you think I was unaware of the brutality of the Romans and their anger when I had Paul write Romans? Then he comes and says- did you think I did not see injustice or was unaware of the suffering when all had lost faith?

I know he calls me higher.

But his next question reveals my heart in a way both merciful and terrifying.

If you could use turkey feathers and a spell to fix this would you?

And my yes answer reveals how easily I would usurp him to do what I want, acting as though I were a better god.

He does not condemn me.

But he does want me to see that this is here so I can repent and be washed.

Not my will, but yours Lord.

Truly there is mercy in many trials, for they reveal the heart’s lack of alignment with our Perfect King.